Thứ Hai, 29 tháng 3, 2010

CUOI CHUT CHOI

1. SPAGHETTI
From : nguyenpho
A man was having an affair with an Italian woman.
One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting
to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child... If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the Child support payment to begin.
One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. 'Honey, 'she said, 'You received a very strange post card today.'
'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said. The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.
On the card was written: 'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Three with meatballs, two without. Send extra sauce.
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2. WIVES !!!
From: Bieu Nguyen* trongtn* vuvinhan*hoatran

* When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. Lee Majors

 **After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. Al Gore

 *By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates

* Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. Mike Tyson

*The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?George Clooney 

*I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Bill Clinton



* "I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."Rudy Giuliani


*"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." Michael Jordan


*"I've had bad luck with all my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” The third gave me more children! Donald Trump


*Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Shaquille O’Neal


The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... Kobe Bryant


You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. David Hasselhoff 

  My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. Alec Baldwin


A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. Barack Obama

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. Tommy Lee



A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." Brad Pitt

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." Jimmy Kimmel


“Honey, what happened to ‘ladies first’?” Husband replies, “That’s the reason why the world’s a mess today, because a lady went first!” David Letterman

“First there’s the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring...soon after....comes Suffer...ing! Jay Leno
*"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays  George W. Bush